When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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