I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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