honey bunches of taint.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
