He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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