Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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