i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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