the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
