ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
