yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
