I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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