you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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