My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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