she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
