but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
