You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
