I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
