i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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