Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
