Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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