The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
