Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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