I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize