how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
