Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
