The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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