I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
