Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
