Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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