too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
