smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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