how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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