Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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