smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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