you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
