I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
dude. I can hear the air.
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