so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
