Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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