so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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