Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
