I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
