talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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