take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
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mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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