A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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