I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
