I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
