I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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