just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
