Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Randomize