I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize