Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
