i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
