at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
