I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
