so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
