I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I cannot find my penis.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
