I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
