in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize