I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
