you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
