i need an iv and a liver transplant
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
