OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
