He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
