just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
