I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
