so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
